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    Whoa. What happened to the whole month of October?!

    Well. I don’t know where this past month has gone, but it’s over and done, and I’m still here. It’s the small things in life, right? 

    These past two weeks have been ridiculously busy but amazingly fun and exciting—first I went to Ames, Iowa to visit my best friend and her good friends (we ran around dressed as zombies trying to scare individuals to celebrate Halloween) and then last weekend, I was in Iowa City visiting my older sister and her crazy (but awesome) friends for the Kate Nash concert (that I’d been anticipating for MONTHS). It was a much needed break from the ol’ school work sleep routine. Now I get to buckle down for the winter and make enough money for school next semester. Fun times ahead. 

    Still, I can’t complain—I’ve a really good break living with my grandpa and having two good jobs that work out with my school schedule well. I was thinking today actually how lucky I am that I’ve my grandpa to help me out. Since living with him, I’ve learned so much about the man I barely knew growing up, and that’s really cool to me. He’s not the austere, dry old man I’ve always thought him to be practically my entire life—he’s extremely witty and sage though old fashioned in some ways, but that’s bound to happen with the generation gap between us. He talked about how he got out of the nasty jobs in the army given to the young recruits because he was bald (he went bald by the age of twenty) and looked older. This really cracked me up—once, one of the drill sergeants called him ‘baldy,’ and though my grandpa really doesn’t care about being called bald, he laid it out on the sergeant (my grandpa is very intimidating when angry) and scared the poor guy half to death! I love my grandpa so much.

    Which is why I’m rather annoyed with some of my family—my uncle and aunt and their daughter live not even twenty minutes away, and my own family who lives eight hours away still sees my grandpa more than my uncle and aunt. Yeah, I understand that they’ve their life and are busy, but come on. He’s twenty frickin’ minutes away. I feel bad that Emily, my four year old cousin, will never get a chance to know how cool our grandpa is like my older sister and I have (we both have lived with him for a substantial amount of time). I think it incredibly sad. 

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    I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore

    Wow I am one year older today (at 9:28 mountain time/10.28 central time)—Dorthy’s famous quote kinda sums up how I feel about my last year as a ‘teen.’ 

    I feel like I’m in between stages—I’m not quite a ‘real’ adult, working/going to school/living on my own, and yet I’m no longer a kid anymore. It’s interesting but also a little disconcerting to me because I keep wondering what next year is going to bring for me! Looking back on my past birthdays, one would never find a motif/theme (if you will) except change. 

    Sometimes I feel like I’m a harbinger of some sort—nothing ever remains the same with me, and before you think I’m being a pretentious ass, let me assure you that I’ve had multiple people tell me I’ve changed them in some sort of way. I guess everyone gets changed a little by another individual, and it’s not just me, but I like to think that I’m special just the same.

    Growing up is a pretty funny process. Just reflecting on who I was last year, I can’t believe how so much growing up one can do in so little of time. Like I never really felt like I was maturing into another contributing member of society till now. I think that the drastic changes make one feel older than the typical subtle changes. I can’t remember when I stopped wearing my dorky tacky Star Wars watch and started wearing real jewelry, or when I actually learned how to apply makeup properly; but I can remember the day exactly when I decided that I’m through with talking with false flacks that surrounded me at the time. I remember my first eight hour road trip by myself and how cool I felt when now it’s not a big deal. 

    Change comes subtly, but I think it’s the drastic change that really affects you as an individual. I know that I do not ever want to resort back to my year-ago-self because of my moving to Minnesota, and since then I feel like I’ve become a much better and happier person! This birthday was a nice milestone of how adult-like I’ve become, and I’m actually excited to see what my nineteenth year brings for me!

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    To the rescue! 

    To the rescue! 

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    Break through!

    Life surely has its up’s and down’s. While the past week was shit, this week has actually been somewhat uplifting! Maybe it’s the hormones with me being a girl and all, or maybe it’s the exceptionally beautiful weather out lately, but I feel good about life. 

    I mean, I have A LOT to be thankful for (even though it’s not Thanksgiving). I have a family, though dysfunctional at times, who love me, amazing friends who got my back, and dare I mention it, God. 

    Lately, I’ve been really frustrated with life and trying to get myself through college—I’ve mentioned before how I hate falling into monotony, and that’s EXACTLY what has been happening to me. My life is as follows: school, work, sleep, lather, rinse and repeat. But I have just been reflecting on my life, and I think I’ve figure out a way to keep optimistic!

    I need to keep myself focused on where I am going and think fondly of the past.

    That’s my big break through this week. Maybe it’s silly and not very sage, but I think it’s helpful.

    I thank all of my family and friends for not letting me sit on my ass pouting because life hasn’t worked out as I hoped it would. It’s worked out just fine, and I feel so much stronger as an individual with all of the shit I’ve gone through. 

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    absolutely beautiful!

    absolutely beautiful!

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    The Weekend Diaries…

    Well it looks like this blog thing is going to be more of a weekend kind of thing since I’m too tired to get on the computer when I get home at night. Oh well. 

    So this past week was a major bummer/stressful bitch of a week—I had some difficulties adjusting to the constant changes at work, some personal issues, and trying to understand what the fuck my chemistry professor was ranting about in his joke of lectures! I got through it fine without losing too much of my sanity, so there’s some optimism I’m always trying to maintain.

    One of the things that have been really grating on my nerves though, are the nurses at work’s attitude towards us kitchen folk. Okay, I understand that we don’t have no fancy training in wiping people’s asses or shit like that, but what happened to respect people? We cook the damn food and keep those old people happy for the most part (cause who isn’t made happy with food?) The nurses are always total bitches at dinner and take their damn 30 minute breaks right AT dinner time so that we (kitchen people) have to serve the 50 hungry people their food (which is the nurses’ job) on top of serving their drinks and dishing up the food AND serving their desserts AND cleaning up everything. Basically, it ruins our schedule and then we get in trouble. 
    I understand what those nurses are going through, really I do—I just spent the last 6 months taking care of an old woman. And I mean the works-cooking, cleaning, ass wiping, etc. Granted, I didn’t have multiple people to take care, but I do have insight into the major pain in the ass it is to take care of an overgrown child (which these people do become sadly) and there is NO reason to snub, act bitchy, or just plain rude to other people trying to do their jobs. At least I don’t see a reason.

    Even though this week was just icky, life still has a way of making me laugh even if it’s because I’m a dumbass. The other day, I was at my friend’s house doing laundry and just chilling (watched 2012 and law abiding citizen—awesome movies!) and as I was getting ready to leave, I couldn’t find my keys. I tore that house apart searching for those fucking keys and finally my friend suggests I look in my car though I just laughed and said nah…guess where those keys were? In my car, right on the driver’s seat. They had fallen out of my purse when I got out to get my laundry. So I had to bum a ride back to my house to pick up the spare key and drive back to get my car, and even though it was so stupid of me, I had to laugh because this would happen to me.

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    cute kitty on the roof!

(by the only kimbot)

    cute kitty on the roof!


    (by the only kimbot)

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    This is one of my favorite paintings by Jack Vettriano!

    This is one of my favorite paintings by Jack Vettriano!




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