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    Waiting for Life to Start

    So one of the things I’ve noticed about living in a small town is that it’s pretty easy to slip into monotony. You get into a routine, and it becomes your life. I absolutely hate this. I like excitement and adventure, and believe me, driving an hour for school and then head off to work is not what I’m looking for. I feel like I’ve not started my life yet, waiting to break free of this monotony.

    Sweet baby J and to think that some people have only had this their entire life.

    I’m not trying to insult small town life—I understand that that’s what people like and feel comfortable with, but I have decided from living here in Gaylord for the past seven months that small town life is NOT for me. I like having restaurants that stay open past 9 or a mall that is not an hour away, and yes, school being closer. Basically, I like having contact with society. 

    I actually feel like a hypocrite when I say that because here I am whining that I want more social interaction, but then I get what I wish for when I visit friends or family, and then I begin to hate the human species a bit. I love my friends and family, but I always get disappointed somehow when I see them. No one seems to ever follow through with promises or plans, and continuously complain about a situation but refuse to do anything to actually fix it; and it just annoys me that this is society now. Am I the only one who means what I say?

    Well maybe I’m being too quick to judge—there most be a reason why people act in that manner. Maybe it’s the maturity level. I look at people my age, and feel so old compare to them on account I’ve grown up in more ways than them; and yet here they are in a real college, starting their lives and contributing something to society (even if it is being a drunken whore or a nerd locked away studying) while I’m in a crusty old town working my ass off to make enough money so I too may be apart of something bigger.

    Is this selfish or stupid of me to feel this way? Jealousy is not very flattering, but I get so angry seeing morons wasting their mommy and daddy’s money on partying because that’s the college norm. I would love to have help from my parents for college. I mean I agree college is suppose to be wild and fun, but do you really have to be drunk or high to do so? Nope.

    And before you judge me to be some prude, I do enjoy vodka just as well as any other person and having that buzzy buzz feeling, but I don’t abuse it just to feel good about myself ‘cause I like to think I’m much more secure about myself than that.

    I’m just waiting to feel like I’m apart of something bigger than small town America.

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    "You should cherish my face"

    Brianna Carlson

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    About me…

    So my name is Ashli, and I finally decided that I would get ‘with it’ and start my own blog. I’m not much one with words, but I think that I’ve some interesting incidents to share with people…I’ll let you be the judge of that though. 

    I’m currently living with my grandpa in Minnesota, working at a nursing home in hopes of scraping enough money together to put myself through college, and let me tell you, it’s no walk in the park—old people can be pretty damn vicious.

    The other day, I was voted (since I’m the lowest on the totem pole being the newest)  to serve a resident who’s infamous for hitting staff…and when I say hit, I mean a good whack that’ll leave a bruise for a week. Suffice to say, I was a little apprehensive about serving the guy his two large chocolate milk and small cranberry juice. The cook forgot to mention that his entire left side is paralyzed and is considered his ‘good’ side, but my super sweet orientater, Jennifer, warned me in time and I missed out on some good old fashion initiation much to the cook’s disappointment. 

    Anyway, back to my original point: about me (I do get side tracked easily, so I apologize if i seem to go off on tangents) I’ll be 19 in October but don’t really feel like I’m almost 2 decades old—I thank my best friend for this—we always say we’ll never grow up. But lately, I feel like I’ve been doing just the opposite. Since moving from Des Moines to Illinois and now to Minnesota, I feel like I’ve become 30 years older. For instance, I know exactly ONE (yes one) person my age here in the booming (sarcasm) town of Gaylord, MN and spend most of my time with old people (who i love for the most part, don’t get me wrong), so I can’t cuss or pull “that’s what she said” jokes like I typically do with people of my own generation, and I’ve always to use “m’am” and “sir” and hold doors open and shit like that. I don’t mind it too much, but I really do miss hanging out with people my own age and just fucking around. So be warned, there will be a lot of profanity in my postings. 

    My favorite color on most days is purple, but I’m not too picky-just no pink. yuck. I absolutely LOVE music and would perish in a most depressing manner if I did not have my extremely hardy ipod, Joel. Also, my phone is my connection to the world—I text (and call) like there’s no tomorrow! Oh some favorite bands (just throwing some out there ‘cause I like many bands/artists) Motion City Soundtrack, Kate Nash, The Killers, Angels and Airwaves, Artic Monkeys, and recently, Vampire Weekend (I’ve found that they’re excellent music for homework) Also random note: favorite station on Pandora: The Killers station!

    I love cats—like I’m pretty confident that I’ll be a crazy cat lady when I’m old (minus the smell). I have 4 adorable kitties at home in Illinois whom I miss very much! My grandpa won’t allow cats here on account my sister’s cat last summer messed up his couch (which needed to be replaced anyway). sadness. I love love love theme/amusement parks because they have roller coasters which is my absolutely favorite thing to do at one of those places! I’m an adrenaline junkie—I’ve been bungee jumping twice and have plans to go skydiving (when I have the funds) and get a tattoo (that’s daring enough right?) 

    Uh I feel weird talking about myself all the time, so I’m stopping. I hope that my blogs will be sources of amusement ‘cause that’s what I’m going for =) 

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    I do enjoy sunsets.

    I do enjoy sunsets.




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